Playing Hard to Get Is Effective, According to Psych Researchers

This might sound like a no-brainer advice. Though surprises or last-minute events can be fun, girls usually need a bit of time to buffer. Sincere effort and a little extra planning can go a long way. Sometimes the only solution a woman who plays hard to get is to play her back a little. Give her all the attention: the likes, the calls, the smiley texts. Then little by little reduce the attention. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be honest and open. Keep in mind that timing is crucial.

Why Do Women Play Hard to Get?

Subscribe To Our Newsletter! What should you do when a woman plays hard to get with you? You know the type — a woman who makes you want to give up for fear of being rejected repeatedly by her.

Our mothers used to tell us to play hard to get to attract the attention of our first crush, but science has revealed there may actually be some truth.

Maybe you’re the type who tends to take off first thing in the morning after a one-night stand, or who lies about your busy schedule in the week ahead, but doesn’t indulge your prospective partner with the details. When dating, single people often deploy tactics like these to avoid coming off as clingy or desperate. Playing hard to get, the theory goes, makes you seem far more attractive.

It might make you feel sly, but does that carefree attitude actually work to anyone’s benefit? For decades, psychologists have been studying if and why playing hard to get can make people attracted to you, and several studies may help explain the psychology behind why we sometimes desire people who make us work harder for their attention. There are many ways to do this, but people playing hard to get most often act confident, talk to others, and withhold sex, according to research published in the European Journal of Personality —all of which “may reflect Withholding information about yourself—or at least, your feelings—can be similarly alluring, according to a recent study in Psychological Science.

In the study, researchers asked women to look at the profiles of fictional men who had also supposedly looked at many women’s profiles, including theirs. Each woman was told she was looking at men who either liked her a lot, thought she was average, or whose feelings about her were unknown. While it wasn’t surprising that women were more drawn to men who found them attractive, they were most attracted to the men whose feelings were unknown.

That kind of uncertainty can command our attention for days, even weeks—but the effect is limited. Eventually, it’ll get old. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should deploy the hard-to-get strategy when you’re looking for a short-term fling. In fact, the EPJ study found that both men and women looking for casual sex actually preferred someone with high availability—an easy catch.

Playing Hard To Get Quotes

Brooke Lewis. So, Guys, take a few expert advice tips from a Lady who has been there:. I know, we all hate the busy word. Guys, like you, women are busier than ever.

Women they read about in the story, or met on the date, either behaved in a positive, interested manner (“easy to get”), or were passive and aloof (hard to get)​. In.

It applies to just about everything, from dating to sales. When it comes to getting a girl attracted to you, playing hard to get is one of the most valuable tools you can employ. It creates the vibe that you are the kind of guy that has some pretty high standards. Sometimes, a girl will play hard to get just to see how persistent you are. The more value you project , the more interested a girl will be.

They usually want to get to the finish line as quickly as possible, whether it be sex or a relationship. This is a problem. A guy that lays his cards on the table too quickly, appears to have less value. A girl who gets a guy who she deems as having value, feels like she has increased her value as well. Girls do this all the time. Think about how many guys are sending messages to an attractive girl on their Instagram, and how many then get shut down.

What To Do When A Woman Plays Hard To Get

Some scientists believe the principle of reciprocity is the single most important determinant of whether one person will like another. Skip navigation! Story from Health.

like to date such a woman. Since the hard-to- get woman’s desirability is well recognized, a man can gain prestige if he is seen with her. An easy-to-get woman​.

She had just finished telling me about a promising blind date she had on Saturday night with Alan, a thirty-three-year-old sports agent. Their love lives are at a standstill. On the rare occasions, they actually meet a nice guy through a friend or a dating website, it never goes anywhere. Of course, it is easy to blame Tinder and hookup culture for keeping them single. That said, there may be something else interfering with their ability to find a successful relationship and it may not have anything to do with the modern dating landscape.

It explains the success of limited editions and hour sales. Conventional wisdom holds that this strategy applies to romance and the rules of attraction. Just do the rules and see him less. Being nice is far more effective, say the authors of one study. They found that women who were friendly and warm were deemed to be more attractive by potential mates than women who played it cool.

Men in the study described the women who selectively liked them to be easygoing, popular and warm. A team led by Jayson Jia of Stanford conducted a series o f experiments to explore this question.

Is She Not Interested Or Just Playing Hard To Get? Here’s How To Tell

Researchers from the University of Rochester and Centre Herzliya have examined the effects of playing hard to get, and claim that making the chase harder increases your desirability. That makes them seem less valuable and appealing than those who do not make their romantic interest apparent right away. In one experiment, participants interacted with people whose online dating profiles indicated that they were either hard to get or easy to attract. The results found that profiles that were hard to get were more valued and seen as more desirable as a partner.

Meanwhile, in another experiment, participants chatted to an insider via Instant Messenger. At the end, the participants were asked to leave one final message.

Just as men grew up being taught that a woman likes him even if she says ‘no’ initially, In all honesty, I have to admit that I’m guilty of playing hard to get. Flirtation and dating are supposed to be playful, and consensual!

Help save lives. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today’s Top Stories. These Are Our 13 Favorite Tequilas of I Was a Chef in Fine Dining. Women who act demure at first are mainly looking to weed out guys who want one-night-stands rather than real relationships, says study author Peter K.

Playing hard to get might be a terrible idea if you actually like someone — here’s why

Not all guys know that girls are pretty tricky and calculating creatures. Of course, there are many sincere and open girls, but some are self-serving and even mean. Relationships with one of these women can drive you crazy and even seriously spoil life.

Many people believe playing hard to get will make someone heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get.

By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Which is the best strategy for finding a partner? Playing hard to get or letting people know you’re interested? On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the primitive appeal of ‘the chase’. Playing hard to get relies on the philosophy that if something comes too easy, it’s less appealing. The harder we have to work for it, the more we appreciate it. It’s since been branded both anti-men and anti-feminist — rules like ‘Don’t talk to a man first’ and ‘Don’t go Dutch on a date’ don’t really wash in — but it’s basic premise might just be spot on.

Tracey Cox advises first daters to stop the date after three or four hours, regardless of how well it’s going. New US research of people shows those who play hard to get are seen as more appealing and sexually desirable and people make more effort to see them again. The study published in the Personality and Individual Differences journal found making the chase harder did indeed increase a potential mate’s desirability. Researchers found women were more inclined to play the ‘run hot and cold’ game, perhaps for evolutionary reasons: if a mate is prepared to put in the effort to win us over, he’ll be more likely to stick around and provide for offspring.

British sex expert Tracey Cox said playing hard to get helps to pique men’s interests.

Playing ‘hard to get’ really works and makes you ‘more sexually desirable’, study claims

The campaign curates conversations on Instagram stories on various facts of modern relationships. This article is based on one of those conversations. How many Bollywood movies can you name that show the guy going after the girl, chasing her relentlessly, her initially hating him, and then falling madly in love later?

Make him work a little to get next to you, and he won’t stop til you’re his.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass. tags: dating, hard.

Get all the sports news you need, direct to your inbox. By subscribing, you are agreeing to Yahoo’s Terms and Privacy Policy. Our mothers used to tell us to play hard to get to attract the attention of our first crush, but science has revealed there may actually be some truth in that basic strategy. While playing hard to get is a strategy adopted by many to attract a partner, previous research has failed to confirm whether playing it cool actually works and if so why.

Read more: What is ‘zumping’ the new dating trend coronavirus lockdown has spawned? So the new research set out to prove whether viewing a prospective romantic partner as playing it hard to get kicked off sexual desire for that partner. Were trying to make the best deal we can. But playing it cool is seen by some to be a bit of a risky play, with many worrying it could put off prospective partners who fear being rejected. A better strategy, therefore, could be to try and merge the two, playing it cool, while at the same time trying to remove the uncertainty and fear of rejection for wannabe mates.

Read more: How to date during lockdown. Birnham advises to show initial interest in potential partners, while not revealing too much about yourself too soon. So by all means play a little hard to get but remember to offer a glimmer of hope to potential partners that their efforts might pay off in the end.

What to Do When a Girl is Playing Hard to Get!

When looking for love, dating books and well-meaning friends may advise guys and gals to play hard-to-get. According to the research, one potential benefit of playing hard-to-get is attracting a higher-quality mate with the greatest level of commitment for a long-term relationship. In the study, published in the European Journal of Personality, psychology researchers ran four different experiments to determine how and why people play hard-to-get and if or when it works in attracting a mate.

In one test, they identified the ways people play hard-to-get and how often men and women use them. From a list of 58 strategies, nearly American college students rated ‘acting confident’ and ‘talking to others’ as the two most commonly used methods of playing hard-to-get.

It will not be easy when dating a who is playing hard to get. Some women will be making out with you after the first date. Some women will gladly.

T here are male dating gurus who train men in the dark art of the female putdown. They tell guys that playing hard to get is the way to make a woman fall head over heels; that women prefer men who behave like jerks, with a touch of humor thrown into the mix. There is some truth to their claims: when we obtain what is hard to get, we appreciate it more. Sensing signs of love from a jerk may feel like more of an achievement than from a guy who constantly dotes on us or on any woman he lays his eyes on.

But these male dating gurus are not entirely right, either. Behaving like a jerk for too long builds resentment. Sometimes those negative feelings surface with a vengeance and we simply fall out of love, almost overnight. Love advice spreads across the internet Gangnam-style, especially this time of year. But much of the advice on love — and breakups, for that matter — is little more than urban legend.

Here are 7 surprising facts about the actual science of love and heartbreak. Why it works?

How To Tell If She’s Playing Hard To Get Or Doesn’t Like You

Yet, making the chase harder also has its advantages. So which one is the better strategy? In a study , they found that when people feel greater certainty that a prospective romantic partner reciprocates their interest, they will put more effort into seeing that person again. Birnbaum and Reis have collaborated for decades, ever since Birnbaum was a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Rochester in — While playing hard to get is a common strategy used to attract mates, Birnbaum and Reis found that past research has been unclear about whether, and if so, why this strategy works—questions they sought to address in the latest study.

Playing “hard-to-get” is an age-old gambit for dating and mating, familiar Overall, the researchers found that women and people with insecure.

My mom, very much in love with my dad, told him she was moving home to Virginia. Romance at its finest! I was born two years later, and my parents are still happily married to this day. My mom has been a hard to get devotee since the tender age of 16, when she developed her first crush on a boy who would always wait until the last minute to ask her to hang out. Every afternoon, she would pull up a stool and wait by the phone for him to call. My mom balked. Nevertheless, the next time he called, my mother begrudgingly played coy and turned down his invitation.

Is She Playing Hard To Get?